Dear Abby: Guilt keeps wife in marriage to man battling with PTSD

Dear Abby: Guilt keeps wife in marriage to man battling with PTSD

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DEAR ABBY: i’ve been hitched to my better half for 17 years. After a long period, we understood some depression was had by him dilemmas. 10 years ago, after he had been identified as having PTSD, he stopped working and it has been in the home from the time.

We work full time, settle the bills, care for the young kids, run the errands, drop the children off at training, clean your house, every thing! He does nothing but rest. He remains during intercourse for several days at a time and showers once per week. We now haven’t slept when you look at the room that is same 5 years.

I’m so lonely. We hate being hitched to him, and I’m perhaps perhaps perhaps not sure exactly how their despair impacts my children. He takes medicine but does not want to visit a specialist. I would like to keep and also a life. I’m stuck in this marriage away from guilt. Exactly just just What do I do? — HAD IT IN KENTUCKY

DEAR HAD IT: Make a consultation on your own with an authorized mental medical expert to go over your circumstances as well as your guilt. Please repeat this just before have psychological or real breakdown through the anxiety you might be under.

For your children’s sake — because you are all they have while I sympathize with your husband’s mental problems, the fact that he refuses to do all he can to fix them tells me it is time to take care of yourself. Since your husband’s meds are no longer working, he need to have mentioned that fact years back to your physician who has been prescribing them.

DEAR ABBY: For the friend’s birthday, I delivered a $150 food distribution present card, saying to place it toward dishes whenever I visited for 3 days the following week. He called, explained I was “cheap” and said it absolutely was maybe maybe not a “gift” if it included cash that could be allocated to myself.

We have been brand new buddies and also have never ever exchanged gift ideas. Please assist me comprehend if I became improper. — MEANT PERFECTLY IN UTAH

DEAR MEANT WELL: You made a mistake that is honest. But, that which you did was less improper than your friend’s ungracious reaction, that has been simply ordinary insulting. Regarding the next gift-giving occasion — if you’re nevertheless friends — send him a guide on etiquette, only for him.

DEAR ABBY: i will be preparing a vacation to consult with my pal in England. We learned abroad 2 yrs ago, and I’m excited to go back to my old stomping grounds and reminisce.

I got very near to this buddy we talk on Facebook every so often while I was there, and. Demonstrably, due to the distance, we aren’t close friends, but we nevertheless start thinking about ourselves “trans-Atlantic siblings.”

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I’m on a fairly budget that is tight wish to start preparing for costs. Would it not be rude to inquire about her if I am able to stick to her? Or must I simply require suggested statements on places to keep to see if she offers? — TOURIST IN TEXAS

DEAR TRAVELER: whilst it wouldn’t be rude to inquire of, we vote for the latter option and view if she indicates it. (She will probably.)

Abigail Van Buren

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Posted on: 1. Dezember 2019grayhoundocd